Racists, beware!
Hi all:
Here’s a belated mini-report on last week’s well-run and of-the-moment Ally/Bystander Training. It was helpful to learn language, strategies, and actions to take when faced with an uncomfortable situation that causes your mind to freeze. Our group, numbering 14, plus two trainers, reviewed different scenarios where we called on our recently-learned skills to deescalate a tense or uncomfortable situation or offer support to someone being attacked (verbally, I mean). Here’s a mini, mini lesson on what you might do if you’re interlocuting with someone who uses racist, sexist, or other pejorative language — start with a statement like this: “What do you mean by that?” or, “That’s not my experience.” or “That’s a stereotype.” or “That didn’t feel okay to me.” A more direct response naming the language would be, “That statement is harmful.” or “That statement is racially biased.”
If you are interested in learning about active bystander intervention or de-escalation skills and strategies, I recommend signing up for a class with Prevention. Action. Change. During these rough times, it’s good to have a way to counter inappropriate and hurtful language and behavior.
As every day offers a new attack on institutions we care about, people we care about, societal ethics and morals we live our lives by, this earth that we care about — I need to bring myself back to the tenets I wrote about back in November. This list is continually updated (in my mind) and some bullet items I have abandoned and others have moved to the top of the list.
My updated/edited list for daily grounding, care, and comfort:
Spending at least 30 minutes outside each day, moving my body in some way. Committing to a bigger weekly adventure. (This is the most vital line item for me.)
Connecting with my community. Being with good friends. (Equally important.)
Meditating most mornings
Stretching and strengthening exercises at home
Deleting news apps from my phone (I’m trying to stay up on news, but limiting my time reading the news is essential)
Cuddling with my dogs
Identifying what brings me joy and doing it (work in progress — I’m not sure how to do this)
Continuing to support women-led and women-centric organizations. Maine Women’s Lobby and In Her Presence are two of my favorites and there are many more. Also, the ACLU Maine and National, pro-choice orgs., immigrant-led orgs. The list grows as the attacks intensify.
Writing out a gratitude list before I fall asleep at night (I stopped this, but it was helpful while I was doing it)
What is on your list? What grounds you and keeps you sane?
Last night I spent the night in Bill’s unfinished cabin in the mountains of western Maine. We slept on Thermarests and in sleeping bags, the winds whipped through the trees with ferocity, but we were snuggled up with the pups and full of potato chips and Heluva Good dip, tomato soup, and grilled cheese toast cooked on the cranky wood stove. This morning we hiked a trail I had never hiked before and made our way to a crazy, windy summit with 360º views. Not once did I think about the devastation happening in our country. This is the balm of moving my body out-of-doors, walking through forests, and across a rocky ridge, 2,000 feet above sea level. I hope you can find your own salve to the pain.
Happy adventuring,
Gillian