Still Devastated, but Digging Out
Connecting, celebrating, and appreciating what and who help heal
Hi everyone:
Since I posted last Wednesday, I’ve been paying attention to my centering/grounding list because I find that it’s agonizingly easy to spin into a dark place. The one vital element I omitted from my earlier list: community. The time over the past week I’ve spent with friends and family and the check-ins via text or on the phone, have buoyed me, calmed me, and lightened my heart.
On Friday, Bill and I made dinner for two friends I had not seen in ages, but a chance run-in at the Yarmouth Hannaford led to dinner plans. And on Saturday, we hosted a handful of Angolan and Congolese kids to celebrate the 20th birthday of one of the boys I mentor. The laughter, joy, silliness, and warmth of that evening was a balm for me. Looking around the dining room table, I thought about the challenges and fear these kids now face. And some of them asked me about Trump and said they were scared. Of course they are. For me, the fear is present, but a smidge distant. I am protected to a degree, but these kids face the reality of policies hostile to immigrants and asylum seekers.
Here’s an ask from me: do you have the time or desire to help one of the boys who was over for dinner at my house on Saturday? He’s a sweet young man, speaks English, has a job, and takes classes, but he feels the absence of adults in his life. He spoke about it the other night — his community of friends, he pointed to the kids in my dining room, is his support network and as we know, young adults need more than friends. They need a parental figure to help them navigate a complicated foreign land and for the benefit of human connection and support. If you’re intrigued and feel you have the time and space in your life to give, let me know and I’ll get his number and introduce you. My life has been enriched through my relationship with Adão and Galiano and I’m so glad I took that leap, which was scary and uncomfortable. Like most risks, it’s worth the discomfort.
In keeping with my grounding, care, and comfort list, I took a hike yesterday. The Ledges Trail at Pleasant Mountain has pros and cons. One of the pros (proximity to Portland) also makes it a con (was a hiker highway!). But it was 100% worth getting out and hiking to the summit and the views along the trail are stellar. Even though it was a Sunday, I wore my blaze orange, which felt safe (will all hunters really follow the rules?!) and also makes for great photos. I may have some orange LAC bandanas hanging about and if you’d like to buy one, let me know. We’re out of stock on the orange LAC hats, but if there’s enough interest, we could possibly put in another order. I also have LAC water bottles for sale (they’re 16 oz. Nalgenes; I think a great size).
Lastly, last night for my son’s 24th birthday party, I made this recipe from one of my fav cooking sites, Smitten Kitchen. And for the first time in all of my cooking life, I bought frozen cauliflower and it worked beautifully and saved me loads of chopping time! When cooking for a group, it’s a kitchen hack I recommend.
My updated/edited list for daily grounding, care, and comfort:
Recommitting to meditating most mornings
Spending at least 30 minutes outside each day moving my body in some way
Stretching and strengthening exercises at home
Connecting with my community. Being with friends.
Deleting news apps from my phone (this has been surprisingly freeing; I do read the PPH and NYT on my laptop, but no longer have the apps on my phone)
Cuddling with my dogs
Identifying what brings me joy and doing it (work in progress)
Writing out a gratitude list before I fall asleep at night
Continuing to support women-led and women-centric organizations. Maine Women’s Lobby and In Her Presence are two of my favorites and there are many more (again, list your favs in the comments). Also, finding more ways to support the immigrant community. I’d be remiss not to mention Maine Boys to Men as we have to work on the male culture too.
Happy Adventuring,
Gillian